After years of rigorous testing (napping), I am qualified to present the definitive ranking of nap spots. My methodology was flawless: I slept in each spot, then rated it. Peer review pending. (The peers are also asleep.)
7. The couch armrest. Too narrow. One wrong roll and it's a whole situation. 4/10.
6. The human's lap (while they're working). Excellent warmth, terrible stability. They keep "typing" and "needing their legs." Selfish. 5/10.
5. The bathtub (empty, obviously). Cool, quiet, echoey. Great acoustics for snoring. Loses points because the human screams every time. 6/10.
4. The keyboard. Maximum attention. Every nap generates at least three typos and one very confused email. 7/10.
3. A box. If it fits, I sits. If it doesn't fit, I sits anyway. Science can't explain it. 8/10.
2. The laundry basket (fresh from the dryer). Warm. Soft. Smells like victory. The only downside is the human keeps trying to "put the clothes away." 9/10.
1. The sunbeam. Warm. Free. Moves slowly across the floor so you have to migrate with it, which counts as exercise. Perfection. 10/10.
Honorable mention: the shipping boxes at Be Like Maddie HQ. I test every single one. It's called quality control. You're welcome.
The fine-ish print: Rankings are final and not subject to appeal. I am the judge, the jury, and the napper.
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