It happened on a Monday. I woke up, stretched, performed my customary 6:00 AM wake-up (followed immediately by my customary 6:05 AM go-back-to-sleep), and reported for duty at my sunbeam. Except it wasn't there.
Now, I am a reasonable cat. I do not panic. I checked the usual excuses first: had the humans moved the rug? Had the ceiling fan eaten it? Had a cloud committed a crime? None of these explained it. The sunbeam — my sunbeam, ranked number one in my own definitive, peer-reviewed, not-subject-to-appeal rankings — had moved six inches to the left and was now mostly on the rug, which is frankly beneath me.
The suspects
Every investigation needs suspects, so I lined them up:
- The sun. Prime suspect. It has a history of moving things and never apologizing.
- October. Suspicious timing. The days have been getting shorter and nobody consulted me.
- The human. Cleared almost immediately. The human cannot find their own keys three times a day; relocating a sunbeam is far beyond them.
- The ceiling fan. A repeat offender from the Haunted Hallway case, but this time it was off. Alibi confirmed.
The investigation
I conducted a rigorous field study, which mostly involved lying in various spots and measuring warmth with my belly. Methodology: flawless. Findings: the sunbeam now arrives later, leaves earlier, and lands closer to the bookshelf. I followed it for a full afternoon, which is a long time to follow anything that is not a treat.
The breakthrough came at 3:47 PM, when I realized the sunbeam hadn't been stolen at all. It had simply been reassigned by the season. October tilts the whole world a little, and the light lands somewhere new. Nobody asked my permission, but then, nobody ever does, and I remain in charge anyway.
So I have updated my official position: the sunbeam is still number one, wherever it lands. I have also claimed the new spot, which is now officially called the Autumn Annex. The rug may stay. (It knows what it did.)
The fine-ish print: Maddie is not a scientist, but she has slept in more sunbeams than any scientist alive, which is basically the same thing. No sunbeams were harmed in this investigation. The rug remains under surveillance.
